She Is 12 and I am Annoying

How many times have we heard the saying or words that being a mom is a “thankless” job?  Today was just a perfect reminder that no matter how well things are going with the kids, that little “bump” in the road pops up and then it all starts…

I was not intending for this post, but it just happened to have landed in my lap this morning.  Why on earth do our kids just look at us with those blank stares?  When we are talking to them or asking questions, their faces are still and their eyes are on us, but you know that inside they are totally “over us”, frustrated, just bothered.  Would I ask questions if I knew the answers?  Okay maybe I would, only to see if they were paying attention, or maybe because I just want to have some chat time with them.

My hubby had to leave for the office early so that left me in charge of driving to school {not their favorite choice, they like dad driving them}.  Noah gets dropped off right in front of school, he has his routine and is a young man of little word.  He is a thinker and does not like a lot of chatting in the morning.  This leaves Miss Faith and I alone in the car as I take her around the corner to her friends house, where she and her group of besties meet up and walk {very cool}.  I love having girl time with Faith, just the two of us alone in the car, chillin and driving.  Until I start asking questions, just any question, something totally random.

  • “So Faith where do you girls end up at school when you walk”, “which entrance do you use”?
  • Silence….I am waiting and glancing behind me towards her
  • “Well, do you head to the circle”….”Noooooo mom” {before I have even finished my sentence} “you don’t know”
  • “What?” “So you head to the back by the basketball courts”?
  • Huge sigh….”No mom”, “by the circle”
  • “Oh the one I just asked you about”?
  • Eye roll and sigh….”Yes mom, but you don’t understand”, “you have no idea”
  • Now my turn to sigh and at this point the car is parked in front of her girlfriends house {we are not done yet}
  • “Faith, what the heck” {my voice starting to raise} “I just asked you about the circle and you said no”
  • There it is, the blank look, nothing but eyes just staring at me, no sound….nothing
  • “Well”? “Mom by the circle and over to the entrance by the bike racks”
  • FINALLY!! “Why did you not just say that when I was asking”?
  • “Because mom, you just don’t know anything”

There it is.  Those were the words, the ones that had my eyes fill with water in an instant.  The words that made me feel like my daughter thinks her mom is just dumb.  The words that rocked my morning upside down.  Okay, I know they could have been much worse and I know that this is just the start of the mother-daughter roller coaster of years of emotions, but how can this be?  Faith and I are always pals, and girl friends.  We run together, we play together, we Wii dance together.  What the heck?

I just looked at her in the back seat and held back the tears.  I could see her face changing as her emotions were starting show.  I sent her on her way but not without telling her to think about what she said and how it made me feel.  Not our normal morning goodbye.  No hugs and kisses and I love you.  No not today.  She walked in the door and I slowly drove away, like a dog with his tail between his legs.  Thinking that she turns 12 tomorrow and we are just starting.  My hubby had warned me about these moments with her.  She is the spit fire of the family and holds her own.

I have my work cut out for me, no doubt.  But in the meantime, I will look forward to picking her up this afternoon and loving her more than ever. 

Enjoy,

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Comments

  1. says

    Awe. I think the preteen years are a rude awakening. Maybe she just separates the friend time from the mom time and it wasn’t personal.
    What I would give to have a normal relationship with my daughter, it is a tug of war every single day just to do regular tasks. It has always been this way. This is the life with a kid with ADD, the moments when she has a nice normal conversation are so fleeting that I cherish every second, because the next minute she will turn the household upside down.

    Now your son sounds like my cup of tea! Not chatty in the morning? That’s how I roll, lol!

    Have a good day Lynda!
    Melissa recently posted…10 Ways to Change-Up Your WorkoutMy Profile

  2. says

    I teach kids and YES the eye roll is SO annoying! But I just smile and keep on keeping on ;) The more she pushes you away, the more she needs to know that you are there when she DOES need you, and that will make her into a wonderful, strong woman. I’m sure you’re doing an awesome job as a mom!
    Hannahviolin recently posted…Day 8 of Whole 30My Profile

  3. says

    I was 100% that girl growing up and I’m 100% sure I will deal with this if we have a daughter. I always hated (and actually still do) feeling like I was being “drilled” with questions or that someone was “trying” too hard to have a conversation. None of that felt natural and that always annoyed me.

    Sounds like she’s at the age of establishing herself as a young adult. Have fun! :-)
    Larissa recently posted…When motivation hurtsMy Profile

  4. says

    Le sigh . . . sorry to hear about your terrible morning. I don’t have kids so I can barely imagine how bad you must have felt. I’m sure when after you weather these hard years, your sweet daughter will come back to you. She, for now, is just trying to figure out her place in this big world. And sometimes she may not do it in the most tactful way.
    Toronto Girl West recently posted…Virtual Coffee Date IVMy Profile

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